Losing Yourself After Becoming a Mum
Updated: Oct 11
You have been working through your pregnancy. You’ve been keeping the news for yourself. You popped the news. You’ve started to receive unsolicited advices. You’ve been praised to keep working. You’ve been questioned why are you still working so far along.
Pregnancy becomes all about the baby
You’ve been wondering about baby’s health. You’ve googled baby’s development week by week.
You’ve been wondering about baby’s sex. You’ve explored old wives’ tales, you’ve ignored them. You’ve seen the ultrasound. You’ve prepared the nursery, the newborn clothes, bedding, toys, nappies, wet wipes, baby monitor, nappy rash cream, lavender bubble bath, baby towel, baby brush, baby nail cutter, mittens, baby hats, car seat, buggy, baby carrier…
You’ve been wondering about baby’s size. You’ve been anxious about your own size, weight gain. Is it enough? Is it too much? You’ve got maternity clothes, a bigger bra. And an even bigger one.
You’ve been anxious about giving birth. You’ve explored pre-natal classes, blog posts, podcasts, books, videos, hypnobirthing, positive birth stories, possible complications, solutions.
Vaginal birth. C-section. Elective. Emergency. Hospital. Birth center. Homebirth. Epidural. Gas and air. No medication. Episiotomy. Forceps. All natural.
The pressure of preparing for motherhood, you might be losing yourself
You’ve done it! It was traumatic. It was magical. It was empowering. It was a “never again”.
And your baby is here. The most wonderful creature on the world! 100% depending on you. 😳On, you, who might have been losing yourself, who might have just started to redefine yourself.
You’ve been fearing the first days.
Newborn photographs.
You’ve been fearing breastfeeding. Is there enough milk for baby? Does it hurt? Does it have to hurt… so much? What about a dummy? What about formula? Pumping? When to start? How often?
Keeping the umbilical stump untouched.
Disposable or reusable nappy?
Sleep training, or co-sleeping?
Washing, sterilising, nappy change, dressing/undressing baby. Giving bath. Washing. Ironing. Cooking. Cleaning. Getting to the bathroom. In time! You’ve got it! You can’t do it. Need help. You get help. You don’t get help.
Exhaustion. Excitement. Happiness. Hopelessness.
Recovery after birth is often overlooked
You juggle caring for baby while you are healing. Bleeding. Have pain. Pain reduces. Still bleeding. Bleeding reduces. You’ve got this!
It hurts to laugh. You leak down when you sneeze. You wear a pad. You leak up when baby cries. You wear breast pads.
Who supports the mother?
Support network. Criticism. Parenting groups. Mums meetings. Family visits. Friends visits. Friends disappearing. New, mum friends.
You take your baby to baby weigh clinics. You take your baby to baby groups. Baby massage. Baby swimming. Baby yoga. Baby music. Baby sensory. Baby sign language.
Why postnatal recovery matters
And where are you? How are you? How is your body? Did you recover? Do you still have any pain related to pregnancy and giving birth? Is your neck stiff? Does your back hurt? What about your lower back? Hips? Do you still leak when you sneeze, lift something up, jump (if you even attempt it)? Do you have any activity for yourself? With or without baby (if you can organise childcare)? Do you delay it as this is your baby’s time?
Look for a postnatal recovery class near you! This activity is aiming to support your body to heal and function well and pain-free. My sessions are designed for you. With your baby, but focusing on You. Because you need it. Because you deserve it.
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